Monday, May 14, 2007

Apologies

Concerned friends,

      I apologize. My attentions this week have been diverted to nursing a leg injury I sustained during a nasty fall I suffered caused by a burst of anger directed at a new passage I discovered whilst simultaneously reading Marcel Proust's Remembrance of Things Past and descending a small flight of oak stairs. Do not be concerned. I have been issued a metal cane by my physician that is both a trusty aide and a vicious affront to good taste. I shall return with a new question this coming Monday.

                                                                             Best Regards,
                                                                             Dr. Douglas H. Plume*

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*Note

Dr. Douglas H. Plume is not a real doctor, but was awarded an honorary doctorate in holistic medicine. He is an expert** in the following subjects: Mathematics, Science, History, Strategic Board Games, Baroque Period architecture, Popular Culture, Sociology, Fine wines and spirits, Art, Bedding, Hip-hop music, Winter Sports, Philosophy, and Political Science.

 

**Expert meaning: having earned an advanced degree in, taken a course on, read a book about, or watched a brief television segment concerning said subjects.