Vote of No-Confidence

Dear Dr. Plume,

      I have been closely following this Alberto Gonzales investigation. Today, the Senate was going to hold a “vote of no-confidence” on Gonazles. What the hell does that mean? I have never heard of such a thing before. Is it new?

                                                         Jason in Macon, GA
Dear Jason,

      A “vote of no-confidence” is when a group of people or elected officials, in this case the Senate, hold a vote to publicly decide whether or not they believe a person is capable of doing their job properly.
      While one could argue that there is no real consequence to being the subject of a vote of no-confidence, I would say your life is pretty much over after you've been publicly denounced by the most morally upstanding citizens in the world, United States Senators.
      The vote of no-confidence is nothing new. Our country is essentially built on our insatiable need to point out to people why they are not as good as us. Public condemnation of idiots is part of the American tradition.
      In 1818, the US Senate held the first vote of no-confidence on the President, but it was merely an empty gesture. The motion was defeated by a vote of 99-1, the single vote of support coming from Senator Eligius Fromentin, the Democratic-Republican from Louisiana, who felt that President James Madison had simply been in office too long.
      During his apology, Fromentin announced that indeed, James Madison would have been in office too long had he not finished his term a year earlier and been replaced by James Monroe, another man with an unfortunately similar name. While it's, undeniably, easy for the average person to mix up the two presidents, it's sort of a faux pas if you are a Senator. In the end, the Senate decided to hold a vote of no-confidence in Senator Fromentin due to his senile performance in the first vote of no-confidence.
      Normally, the vote of no-confidence is confined to our nation’s major legislative bodies, which is lucky for you. Imagine if all of your neighbors came by your place of business and decided to take a vote on whether or not you suck at your job.
      I have myself, though, once offered a vote in support of a vote of no-confidence. I was in the majority along with a number of other people. Our reasons were clear: incompetence, stubbornness, and a general lack of cognizant leadership.
      It was a very awkward day for my father. To have a public vote of no-confidence held by his immediate family and to have it supported by a vote of 4-1 must have been quite embarrassing, especially with it occurring during our family vacation to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
      My father was a good man. He was simply a poor navigator and my siblings and I needed to make it publicly clear that we had no confidence in his ability to read a map and adequately helm our Oldsmobile.

                                                         Very Truly Yours Me,
                                                         Dr. Douglas H. Plume*